


The Words You Whispered I Will Always Believe

by orphan_account



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Celebrity AU, F/M, I’ll add tags later, M/M, Pop Star AU, band au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:08:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25395139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "It doesn't matter. I have nothing to say to the Trashmouth," Eddie spat. He slipped back in his chair, perching on it with regality. He pulled his spine into a straight line as he pressed his narrow shoulders down. He liked to appear taller than he was."He is part of the band too," Bill flickered his gaze up to meet Eddie's for a moment."Yes. And?""You are going to have to speak with him," Mike commented after a beat."Silent treatment is both uncomfortable and overrated. If you two decide to ignore each other, you'll have an audience of thousands who will be able to tell," Bill lamented.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28





	The Words You Whispered I Will Always Believe

**Author's Note:**

  * For [My gay friend](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=My+gay+friend).



2010

**The Losers Club Releases the Summer’s Most Anticipated Album**

2011

**The Loser’s Club World Tour Sells Out in 24 Hours**

2012

**How 7 Best Friends Became International Superstars**

2013

**Secret Romance? Fans Speculate Eddie Kaspbrak and Richie Tozier are Dating**

**Big Bill Denbrough Claims “There Is Nothing Romantic in the Club”**

2014

**Beverly Marsh and Ben Hanscom - Secret Wedding?**

**Richie Tozier and Mystery Woman on Vacation in Mexico!**

**The Losers Club Releases New Tour Dates and Album Rumors: Everything You Need To Know**

**Eddie Kaspbrak Releases Single - Tension in the Band?**

2015

**“We Want To Explore” Stan Uris Breaks Silence on Band Break Up**

**Ben and Beverly Seen in Europe Weeks After Band Split**

**Bill and Mike of The Losers Club Talk Future Plans**

**Eddie Kaspbrak Teases Solo Album**

**Trashmouth Tozier Stays Silent? Richie Refuses to Comment**

May 2020 

"You shouldn't read that shit," Eddie crossed his legs. The long expanse of tan shimmered in the morning sun. His dainty fingers outstretched to fiddle with the lilac cuff of his shorts. He always admired the way the soft purple satin would dance against his golden thigh.

"You care more than anyone what the world thinks of you," Bill countered. A soft tut fell from his lips as he lifted his gaze toward Eddie. His brow arched with a dutiful inquiry as his eyes scanned his friend, landing on his fingers. "You're nervous."

"You should check your socials," Eddie pressed the tip of his tongue to the inside of his cheek. "People online will give you genuine criticism, even if it's a little harsh."

"Is that so?"

"Yes actually," Eddie flung a quick look between Mike and Bill. "And no. I haven't been nervous in years."

"Years," Mike nodded, his own eyes darting to Bill.

"Years," Bill snorted, linking his hands together. He pushed them out, wincing at the way the knuckles cracked with obnoxious volume.

"I don't understand why either of you finds that so hard to believe. I've felt brief moments of stage fright, but beyond that, no. I haven't felt genuine nerves in years," Eddie crossed his arms as his gaze narrowed.

"When was the last time you saw Richie?"

Mike let out a soft chuckle and purred out a soft," years?"

Bill's own gaze lulled back toward the magazine he'd been flipping through. His soft eyes wandered the shiny pages in front of him. Littered from cover to back were pictures of skinny women and shallow celebrities. The gossip columns did nothing but irk Bill to the core of his existence. In reality, nothing about the glossy sheets in front of him sparked intrigue but it was better not to search Eddie's eyes. He didn't know what he would find inside them and a dominant part of him felt a sense of unease.

"It doesn't matter. I have nothing to say to the Trashmouth," Eddie spat. He slipped back in his chair, perching on it with regality. He pulled his spine into a straight line as he pressed his narrow shoulders down. He liked to appear taller than he was.

"He is part of the band too," Bill flickered his gaze up to meet Eddie's for a moment.

Eddie’s nimble fingers pressed his overpriced sunglasses onto the narrow of his nose. The pink sat there with a delicacy as he snickered, "yes. And?"

"You are going to have to speak with him," Mike commented after a beat.

"Silent treatment is both uncomfortable and overrated. If you two decide to ignore each other, you'll have an audience of thousands who will be able to tell," Bill lamented.

"Yeah. I fucking get it," Eddie's voice snipped, a high and wavering sound. "I do get where you're coming from, but I haven't seen the asshole in five years. The last time I saw him, we were yelling at each other. I was an over-emotional mess of a 21-year-old. I was a fucking kid and I was trying to find myself. Guess what? I went searching while the rest of you were off doing the same. I found myself and I did it on my own. I took months to wallow in self-pity, and then picked myself up and dusted myself off. I promised myself that the day I settled for anything would be the day I lost myself again. "

"We aren't asking you to settle, Eds. We are asking you to play nice," Bill crossed his arms. His fingers drummed against his forearm, reminding Eddie far too much of his mother.

"With all due respect, I'm not who I was back then, Bill. I am a multifaceted artist who sells out international stadium tours in hours. I refuse to go back to playing Baby Spice so the rest of the band can be superstars. As much as you all claimed that we were equal members of a larger whole, I was acting as the backup singer. Why would I go back to being an emotionally vulnerable child?"

"You can't act like that vulnerability isn't the exact thing that shot you to success," Mike commented. He recognized that he was a sideshow in this conversation, but Bill was starting to need back up and fast. The man hadn't been good with words in all the years he'd known him. It was surprising that the singer turned author fell short in speech and yet here they were. "I know the band wasn't always ideal for you, but it gave you the chance at a career. Where would you be otherwise?"

"Don't paint me as ungrateful," Eddie huffed. His glare was colder than iced coffee in a California summer. It was rare for one of his friends to sit on the receiving end of such a look, but the conversation was beginning to get to him. "If my team didn't think this would further my career, I wouldn't have signed on. I don't understand it, but it isn't my job to figure it out. My job is to show up and sing, something I thought I was doing well."

"You are."

"So, why go back?"

"It's important to go home on occasion," Bill frowned. Tension settled into his brow as he pushed himself to sit straighter. 

"I am in love with music again. I get to write my feelings in a way that is open and safe. I decide what I write and how much I want to say, but I also have the voice to share. I connect day to day with fans and I tour the world. I give everything my soul can currently offer and I do so without regret. I didn't get that with the losers. I don't want to slow down for anything."

"We all heard your music," Bill started with caution. "It was amazing and eloquent, but pointed. You have to know how sharp it was. Everyone who listened to it knew you were hurting.

“Well, Big Bill, mayhaps that is because I  _ was  _ hurt.”

“Isn’t it time you stop hurting? You deserve that,” Mike reached over to squeeze his hand. A smile pulled on his face, looking at Eddie, who had grown into one of his best friends. The small size of Eddie’s hand in his own reminded him that he wanted to protect this boy with all his heart. Mike always longed to be that friend. He wanted to be the quiet force that led the group almost as much as Bill had. He liked the simplicity traced in genuine companionship.

Eddie’s brows furrowed as he thought over it. He was a concentrated thinker, someone who looked pensive in his thoughts. Did he deserve it? Rarely was he treated like he deserved to be a whole person. The media would pick him apart, worshipping some parts of him and condemning others. He was too thin one day, but the next his thighs looked like they gained weight. Eddie subscribed to countless stories about the way his body would seem to fluctuate. He was sometimes too feminine, but then sometimes fans loved it. He felt like aspects of a person, a puzzle that tossed into bits and pieces. He wondered what it would feel like to be a whole person again.

“I'm not stupid,” Eddie started, out paused a little. He bit the inside of his cheek with a gentle force, searching for the correct words. They were escaping him and he didn't want to look like an ass. His hands picked at the curve of the chair’s arm. His fingers drummed a distant rhythm against the chair. It was something his subconscious picked up while dating Richie. The young man would often tap to let out unwanted energy.

Mike and Bill were both patient men. Their eyes spoke to each other, conveying their worry for him without needing to say it out loud. Mike and Bill were almost so close as Eddie and Bill, but there was a certain history that was missing there. Additionally, the lack of romantic gaze in that relationship aided in their friendship. There was something fond about the way Mike would shoot far off smiles to Bill.

“No one has ever said you were,” Bill dropped his gaze to his shoes.

“No, I know. I just- god. Okay, I can have anyone I want. Not literally, but it’s not like I don’t have options.” Ah. This was about Richie. Neither Bill nor Mike needed to say it out loud. “You both know that I am not exactly struggling to find someone who is into me. This life, we live… I understand that it’s hard to find someone who wants to learn me. I know I have fans who would love me, but fuck. I want something real. I want someone who enjoys the person I am. I want someone who would like the little kid who got bullied in Maine. I want someone who can look at this man I've become and be proud because I fucking grew up.” He threaded his fingers between his light brown curls to brush them from his forehead. “I was with Connor and the media had a frenzy. It was toxic, hot, and-“

“Way too public,” Bill commented. “You want the best friend kind of a lover. You’ve had that. You two were happy once upon a time."

“I’d rather be too public. At least I wasn’t a superstar’s dirty little secret. As Mike said, I deserve to stop hurting. He is only going to keep me hurting,” Eddie stood, tugging his shorts down where they had ridden up his thighs.

The conversation was starting to be a downer and that wasn’t really his vibe. This Eddie liked only what he deemed as good. He liked things like fun sunglasses and Gucci loafers. Pretty shorts and float shirts both paired with strawberry lip gloss had become a staple to the singer in his solo career. He wore silks, satins, and lace, enjoying the feeling of them against his skin. He had always been a sensory man.

He placed his hands on his narrow waist, looking between the two men.

“Boys, brunch was swell, but I think we have a business meeting to attend,” Eddie pivoted. He headed into the home and stopped in front of the mirror, pulling off his sunglasses to check his look.

These days, Eddie had a look and it was very strictly kept up. The boy had once been the baby of the group, the youthful and naive one. Management said everyone had to have a different function. He couldn’t be as quiet and witty as Stan, or as flirty as Richie, or sweet as Ben. He was Eddie and Eddie was supposed to be the gentle boy that the internet loved.

That was the biggest change.

The internet still loved him, but now they ate out of his tiny little palms. The young man went from pure to the opposite over the span of one album. He was allowed to dance at shows now, big choreographed performances. He was sexy and young, unafraid to call people out or demand his worth. There is no shame in knowing your worth.

Plus, he came out only a month after the band split. Whether he came out to prove a point to himself or Richie is a different discussion. He dove into his newly found honesty with fans. When he got into relationships, he just talked about it. There was no pull or stunts to try and fix his image. The weight that was lifted from his shoulders was one that let him feel free to explore.

“Alright, Eddie. We can go,” Mike shook his head, bracing his hands on the chair as he lifted himself from it. He extended one of his large hands, grasping Bill’s smaller one as he tugged him from his own seat.

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think! Encourage me to update sooner! Also - find me @ 80sgaytrash on tumblr


End file.
